


Loving My Idol

by FandomsBrew



Category: Phan, danisnotonfire/amazingphil - Fandom
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, Confessions, Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Teenagers, Feelings, Feels, Flirting, Flirty, Friends to Lovers, Gay, LGBT, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Male/Male, Strangers to Friends, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, YouTube, YouTubers - Freeform, Youtuber - Freeform, danisnotonfire - Freeform, fanboy Dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-21 02:39:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 6,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9528230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomsBrew/pseuds/FandomsBrew
Summary: The origin of Phan, from Dan's point of view.





	1. Idol

~Dan Howell is 18. He lives in Wokingham, England with his parents. He has lush brown hair and charming brown eyes. He spends most of his time watching videos on YouTube, mainly of his idol, AmazingPhil. AmazingPhil is a 22 year old man, his name is Phil Lester. He lives in England, just like Dan.~

Its 11:42 a.m. on a Saturday morning. Dan rolls over, almost falling out of the bed. He grabs his laptop and logs on to YouTube, his normal routine. He search for "AmazingPhil", his idol and inspiration. He loves the idea of making YouTube videos, but despite how cool and confident he looks on the outside, but on the inside he's insecure about these things. If he makes videos and posts them, then anyone can see them. What would they think? Would anyone even like them? He didn't see the point.

**-Dan's point of view-**

"Phil uploaded!!", I exclaimed happily to myself. I love seeing Phil's videos, I've probably seen them all 100 times each. He's so funny and just so inspirational to me.. And his black hair is pretty awesome... I wish that I could do what he does. Maybe I'll start making videos too...

Maybe I could.. ask him for tips? I don't know.. do I deserve to message him? He's my inspiration.. It would be amazing to meet him, but.. Idols aren't necessarily meant to be talked to personally.. What if he's a jerk in person? I wouldn't be able to watch his videos anymore.. What if he thinks I'm a crazy fan?.. Well before I message him... I should probably change my username from "Phil trash #1"...


	2. Danis...

"Better change my username...", I mumbled to myself hitting backspace, "but what should i change it to..." I thought to myself for a moment. It need to be something creative, something that stands out... "AmazingDan?", no that's too obvious...Dan is cool? Wow, that makes me sound like a jerk...Dan is lame? That kinda makes me feel bad about myself..Dan is... Danis? Danisnot... What am i not? Danisnotcool.. thats true, but I want him to respond.. it needs to be clever and funny... ah cmon Dan think..

I sat there for a few minute pondering ideas for names, things from childhood, random words and phrases. "Danisnotonfire!!!", I shouted out loud.

"Whats that, Daniel?", my mother called from down the hall.

"Nothing mum!!", I shouted to her. Okay..Now I need to message him..


	3. Tips, please?

"Danisnotonfire," I repeated to myself, "Not bad". I laughed a little bit, feeling very clever. "Now to message him...", I continued to talk to myself. I'm extremely nervous.. I mean.. I doubt he'll message me back.. but at least I tried, right? I keep stalling.. What if he gets upset that I messaged him?.. Oh I don't know...

I pulled up a chat and tried to stop being so scared.

\----------------------CHAT OPENED----------------------

 **Danisnotonfire (12:00pm):**  Hi, Sorry to bother you, I'm Dan. I like to watch your videos, and I was hoping you could please give me some tips on starting a channel? If you see this, thanks. :)

 **AmazingPhil (12:00pm):** Hi there, Dan! Nice to meet you :) Thank you for watching my videos! Is there any specific tips you'd like to know about?

  ----------------------CHAT CLOSED---------------------- 

"Wow...That was fast", I said to myself. Not that I'm complaining or anything..

  ----------------------CHAT OPENED---------------------- 

 **Danisnotonfire (12:00pm):** Oh! I honestly didn't expect a response.. well, I want to make videos, but I'm nervous.. what do I do? Do you have any tips for that?

 **AmazingPhil (12:01pm):** Well why are you nervous?

 **Danisnotonfire (12:01pm):** I've never done videos before..at least not for the public to see

 **AmazingPhil (12:01pm):** Alrighty, well first of all, make sure you look at the camera. Not all over the place, you want to make the audience feel included :)

 **AmazingPhil (12:02pm):** You should also plan out most of what you want to say, or do. That way you don't stand there confused on what to do.

 **Danisnotonfire (12:02pm):** Thank you! I'll be sure to use these tips :)

 **AmazingPhil (12:02pm):** No problem! If you have anymore questions, you can message me on skype :) Just search amazingphilly, and there I am ^.^ 

  ----------------------CHAT CLOSED---------------------- 

Did Phil Lester...just give me his skype?!?! Oh my god, this is amazing! No no no, Dan don't you dare cry.. I can't stop smiling!

  ----------------------CHAT OPENED---------------------- 

 **AmazingPhil (12:03pm):** Or you can message me just because, I like talking to new people :D

 **Danisnotonfire (12:03pm):** Oh! Thank you! I'll be sure to do that, thank you. My skype is dannybear

  ----------------------CHAT CLOSED---------------------- 

Oh god, why did I make it dannybear... No one even calls me Danny!! This is embarrassing...

  ----------------------CHAT OPENED---------------------- 

 **AmazingPhil (12:04pm):** I like that, it's cute :) Just message me sometime. Bye for now! Have a lovely day

 **Danisnotonfire (12:04pm):** Thanks, you too! :)

  ----------------------CHAT CLOSED---------------------- 

Phil. Lester's. Skype. I have AmazingPhils skype.. This is amazing! I can't stop smiling!! Maybe I can message him later... 


	4. Hey Dan!

It's been about three hours since I talked to Phil. He was nice, and replied very quickly. I really want to message him.. But I don't want to seem weird.. I don't know, maybe I'll message him tom-

My thoughts were interrupted by a bubbly notification sound. Someone messaged me on skype. "I guess I better check that", I said to myself. I looked at the screen and sat in shock for a moment. Phil messaged me..AmazingPhil..messaged me on skype. And he messaged first.. I can feel my face heat in excitement.

\--------------------Skype chat opened--------------------

 **Phil:** Hey Dan! How are you ^_^

 **Dan:** Hi, I'm fine, how are you? :)

 **Phil:** I'm good, thanks  
 **Phil:** What are you up to?

 **Dan:** Oh well, laying in bed and that's about it.

 **Phil:** Sounds fun :P  
 **Phil:** You seemed pretty interesting when we talked earlier, I wanted to know more about you :)

 **Dan:** Oh, okay :) What do you want to know?

 **Phil:** Well.. what is your favourite colour?

 **Dan:** Black. Yours?

 **Phil:** Probably a blue-greeny color. What is your favourite animal?

 **Dan:** I think llamas are pretty cool.

 **Phil:** I really like lions :)

 **Dan:** I can tell :P

 **Phil:** What music do you like?

 **Dan:** It depends really

 **Phil:** Favourite band?

 **Dan:** Probably Muse

 **Phil:** No way..  
 **Phil:** Mine too!!

 **Dan:** Oh wow, that's so cool! :)

 **Phil:** Isn't it?! :D Where do you live

 **Dan:** I live in Wokingham 

 **Phil:** Wow! Maybe I can see you sometime :)  
 **Phil:** How old are you?

 **Dan:** I'm 18

 **Phil:** What do you look like?  
 **Phil:** If you don't mind me asking..

 **Dan:** -Sent an Image-

**Phil:** Wow..

 **Dan:** What?  
 **Dan:** I'm sorry it's not that great of a picture  
 **Dan:** I was kind of in a rush to take it..

 **Phil:** No, it's.. It's a really good picture

 **Dan:** Oh?.. Thanks :)  
 **Dan:** Hey, I have to go for a while, running errands with my mum.

 **Phil:** Oh okay, have fun :)

 **Dan:** Talk when I get back?

 **Phil:** Absolutely! :D

 --------------------Skype Chat Closed--------------------

He's so nice ^_^


	5. Are you flirting?..

\------------Skype Chat Opened------------

 **Dan:** Hiya! :)

 **Phil:** Hey cutie :)

 **Dan:** Cutie??  
 **Dan:** Are you...flirting with me?

 **Phil:** Maybe.. ;P  
 **Phil:** How are you ^_^

 **Dan:** I'm doing fine   
 **Dan:** How are you doing? :)

 **Phil:** I'm  doing pretty good

 **Phil:** Now that you're here ;)

 **Phil:** Would you like to skype call?

 **Dan:** Sure, sounds fun :D

  ------------Skype Chat Closed------------ 

~Incoming Call from amazingphilly~  
I answered the call to see my idol laying on his bed, with his shaggy fringe damp.

"Hello!", Phil chimed quite happily. "I had just gotten out of the shower when you messaged me", he stated, drying his hair.

"Oh, sorry", I laughed quietly.

"Don't be," He smiled, I never noticed how incredibly beautiful his smile was.. "it was perfect timing"

"Well good then", I smiled back at him, trying not to stare. "So..what would you like to talk about?"

"I'd like to get to know you better, if that's alright", he replied with his that smile again. It's making my heart melt.. I can feel my face heat up with a light blush.

"Alright," I answered, smiling back at him. We talked for awhile, about anything that came to mind. Telling jokes and laughing, telling stories of our lives, and talking like we had known each other forever.

"So Dan..", Phil started hesitantly, "what is.. um... what is your sexual preference?..", his cheeks turned a light shade of pink. I didn't know what to say, but I can feel my face heating up, obviously with a deep blush, and I just smiled and laughed quietly.

"You have dimples!!!", he exclaimed, his face lit up and it was so beautiful. With his widened eyes and his tongue between his teeth, I could feel myself blushing hard.. "It's so cute!", Phil continued on about my dimples. 

"I-um.. I hope you don't mind me saying this..", I paused for a moment, nervous of what he might say, "but you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.." I bit my lip softly waiting for a response. He looked down, blushing lightly.

"So, Dan, are **you** flirting with **me**?", he emphasized the 'you' and 'me' because of our previous conversation. I bit down on my lip harder, trying not to smile, although I failed. "I'm perfectly okay with it if you are~", he said quite suggestively, which only made me blush more. 

"Well, Mr. Lester, you started it", I replied flirtatiously. We both laughed quietly, I'm still extremely nervous. In this short time that we've started talking, my idol has become my romantic interest.. I didn't know I felt that way.. What the fuck even is my sexuality? His smile makes my heart melt, his eyes are a deep blue that I can just get lost in.. 

We talked on skype for hours, eventually it was 3 a.m. We found ourselves yawning, and struggling to stay awake. We continued trading stories and interests, with a little bit of flirting here and there.. We drifted asleep, still on chat. Though I haven't known him personally for very long, I feel like I've known him my whole life. It truly is a wonderful feeling. He was in my dreams that night. He's such a beautiful man..


	6. Good morning, beautiful

I woke up with my laptop still on, and Phil smiling.

"Good morning, beautiful.", Phil said in a sleepy voice, like he had also just woken up.

"Good morning", I Blushed lightly, and yawned. "So we were on video all night, huh?", I giggled, blushing a little harder. He's so handsome.. even when he first wakes up. And that voice... 

"Looks like we did", he smiled with his tongue, and laughed. That smile just kills me.. I bit my lip lightly, and looked down, trying to hide my blushing face. 

"I had a lot of fun talking with you", I grinned. 

"So did I", Phil replied, lightly blushing.

"I..I should probably get a shower," I told him, and he seemed a little saddened by it, "Would you like me to call again when I'm done?"

"Yeah, that'd be great", His face lit up. His eyes shining bright as ever. 

"Well, then I will see you in a bit", I waved at the camera.

"And I will see you", he winked at me. I could feel butterflies all in my stomach. I don't understand, not even 24 hours ago, he was my idol. Only my idol.. I know it's normal to have a crush on your idol.. but this is different. I have the ability to communicate with my idol, and now I think I'm falling for him.. What do I do?? I didn't even know that I liked guys.. And what if I'm just imagining this stuff, and he doesn't even like me? He's probably straight.. And I thought I was too.. He has plenty of people that like him. He probably wouldn't like me, even if he was gay. Maybe he's not flirting, at least not in a romantic way.. I mean some peoples personalities are like that. What am I even doing..

We hung up from our skype call, and I gathered my things for my shower. I showered quicker than usual, I couldn't wait to get back to skyping with Phil.


	7. Dan's Shower Thoughts

**DAN'S SHOWER THOUGHTS:**  

 I need to hurry.. The quicker I shower, the quicker I can get back to Philly! Wait..Do I like Phil.. Like that? Am I gay? I don't know.. I mean, I never thought it was a bad thing.. I never really cared. But I don't think that I've ever actually liked a guy. Maybe I don't like him. Maybe it's just that he is my idol. He's my inspiration, and I'm actually getting to talk to him and he's really nice, so maybe I'm just confusing what my feelings towards him.. That happens sometimes right? What if I am gay.. I haven't really liked anyone in a while.. Male or Female. It wouldn't be a terrible thing if I was gay.. would it? What would mum think.. And what if I do like Phil? What if he likes me back??? I doubt he would. He's probably just being nice to me because I'm a fan of his. But what if he isn't. What if he is generally interested.. I don't know what to do!!

But his eyes.. they're so beautiful, and mysterious. Just like he is. And his smile.. I can feel my heart melting..  How can there be a person so attractive?! Honestly it should be illegal to be _that_ good looking...


	8. The Mind of Phil

**-.~*This chapter is in Phil's point of view, Enjoy*~.-**

Wow, he's so.. so pretty, his eyes are gorgeous.. He has an adorable dimple! It's so cute! I can't wait for him to come back, so we can talk more. He's so beautiful! I wonder if he's interested.. I don't want to assume anything.. If you assume then it makes an ass out of you and me.. And we don't want that to happen. I don't even know what his sexuality is. He never really answered my question. He could be straight for all I know.. But then again, he could be gay.. or maybe.. both? Either way, he is such a magnificent display of a human being.. His personality is so..relaxed. He's kind of nerdy, it's so cute. I want to meet him so badly. I want to be able to reach out, and touch him. To know if he's real.. I want to feel his embrace.

I don't want to freak him out though.. I've been flirty with him, but is it too much? Or maybe not enough.. I'm sure he knows I'm flirting with him.. How could he not? I wonder how long it'll be before he's done. I hope not that much longer.. It's only been 10 minutes, but I miss him.. I didn't even know who he was before yesterday. Maybe I should slow things down a bit.. I am flirting a lot.. Well, the best I know how to.. It's also easier because we haven't met in person. Online is different than in real life. 

I want to get to know more about him.. I want to be able to hangout with him too. Maybe we could do that soon. He doesn't live that far away.. I can't believe that someone as cool as him really likes my videos! This is truly amazing.


	9. Hobbit Hair

**-.~* Just a reminder, this is back to Dan's point of view. Enjoy! :) *~.-**

I finished up my shower, and rushed back to my laptop. I threw on some boxers and a t-shirt and hit the call button. It rang twice before he answered. I tried drying my hair quickly with a towel, before tossing it to the side.

"Hey Da- OH MY GOSH YOUR HAIR!", Phil exclaimed very loudly, "It's so curly!!"

"Yeah, I know.. I just didn't have time to straig-", I started but I was cut off by Phil.

"It's so cute!", he complimented my hair, "Oh sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt you!", he apologized, "It's just so cute"

"Really?", I asked, rather confused, "I look like a hobbit!" We just laughed for a minute.

"Well you are one attractive hobbit..", Phil mumbled, turning a dark shade of pink.

I blushed as well, so maybe his is flirting with me.. That doesn't necessarily mean that he likes me.. We did _just_ start talking, after all.. "O-oh, thank you", I stuttered out.

"So you straighten your hair?", Phil questioned.

"Yeah, I don't particularly like my hobbit hair..", I said, scrunching my nose, "I used to get kinda..teased about it a lot.."

"Well..I think it's cute", He smiled shyly, "I also straighten my hair, but it's not usually that curly." I blushed again, he keeps complimenting me and calling me cute...not that I'm complaining..

"Thanks" I looked down, grinning. 

"Ya know," he started, "you don't _have_ to look down when you smile.." I looked up, biting my lip before smiling at him. He smiled really big before saying, "You're beautiful..especially when you smile.."

"Philly, you're making me blush..", I replied, smiling even bigger.

He just smiled and said, "Look at those adorable dimples of yours", which only made me blush more. We talked for hours and hours. We talked about our interests, and about each other. He's a total nerd! But I am too so that's okay.

~Short time skip~

"I just love your hair, Philly", I blushed, "It's my favorite color", I added, laughing quietly.

"I'm glad you like it," he laughed. "...I'm naturally ginger.", He said hesitantly.

I gasped, "I've been lied to!", And we giggled like small children. "I like your black hair..but ginger people are cute too..", I blushed harder. He bit his lip and smiled at me. We just kept on talking until dinner time.


	10. I Need to Say Something

We have been talking everyday now, almost for almost two weeks. He's so kind, and funny.. He seems like he actually cares. He's genuinely nice. He's like a ray of sunshine. My feelings for him have gotten a lot deeper.. 

"Um..Dan..?", Phil sounded as if he had something important to say, "I need to say something.."

"Yes, Philly?", I smiled, curious of what he had to say.

"Well um.. I know that we just met.. and we haven't really met in person...", he trailed off for a moment, "It's just.. I have feelings for you. Very strong feelings..", I began to blush as he continued, "You're cute, and funny, and I feel like we have a lot in common.. And well, I want to get to know you better..", he paused for a moment.

"And?...", I asked him, while biting my lip and blushing even harder.

"And..I was wondering if maybe I could do that... as your boyfriend?", he stopped and sat still, waiting for an answer.

I grinned from ear to ear, showing off my dimples, and blushing intensely, "Yes, Philly! Of course I will!!", I shouted happily. He smiled bigger than I've ever seen him smile. I'm dating my Idol... This is so weird, but in a good way..


	11. Hey, Mum?

We sat there, smiling at each other through the screen for a while.

"Daniel!", my mother called from down stairs, "It's time for dinner!"

I frowned and looked at Phil, "I have to go for now..But I'll be back after dinner, okay?"

"Alrighty," he said smiling, "Um..are you going to tell her about us?.."

"I don't know yet.. I'm not sure how she feels about...", I started.

"Gays?..", he finished.

"Yeah..Gays.", we both sat and looked at each other, before blowing kisses and ending the call.

I headed to the dinner table to where my mother was sitting. "Your father wont be home for dinner", she told me. I sat down at the table, and we began to eat.

"So, how was your day?", I asked her, trying to ease in to a conversation.

"It was good, I did some errands, and you?", she replied.

"It was fine, I woke up and watched YouTube, like usually. I also chatted with my favorite YouTuber today", I answered softly.

"Oh? That's really cool, how did that go?", she asked me, seeming a little protective.

"It was nice, he was cool.", I told her, trying to stay calm. I wanted to explode with joy and tell her what happened, but I'm too scare. I don't know how she feels about these relationships. Although I am 18...

"That's good.", she smiled. We continued talking about our days, and current events. We talked for about 10 minutes, and finally I gathered the courage to ask her.

"Yeah.. And the gay people..", I said nervously, "what do you think about them?"

"That's just unholy, and wrong", she started, "abominations in the eyes of God." I felt my heart drop. My chest felt heavy, and I tried to act as if nothing was wrong. "And what do you think about them?", she asked me.

"Well I don't like them at all," I lied to her, "they can do their thing, as long as they keep it away from me".

"I'd prefer if they didn't do it at all", she growled. We were quiet for the rest of dinner, and I went upstairs immediately after. I got onto my laptop and called Phil. He answered almost instantly.

"Hey Dan", he smiled a bit and then frowned, "Whats the matter?"

"My mum..."


	12. Secret?

"It's my mum..", I told Phil, "I was trying to figure out her opinion on gays..."

"And..?", he asked, although he already knew what I was going to say.

"She thinks that gays are 'abominations in the eyes of God'..and I think she may be suspicious of me now..", my eyes started to water.

"Oh Dan...don't cry..", Phil tried to comfort me. I few tears fell down my cheeks. I didn't want him to see me like this.. Especially not today. We just started dating, he doesn't need to see this.. 

I wiped the tears from my face, and looked at him, "What do we do.."

"Well, what do you want to do...", he stared down at his pillow with a sad expression.

"I really like you, Phil, and we just got together...", I stated, " I want to be with you.."

He smiled softly, "We could keep it a secret..."

"A secret?", I repeated.

"Yeah, just the two of us will know... I mean, you are 18, you're legal. So really they don't need to know anyway..", Phil pointed out.

"That's true..", I smiled at him. 

"Everything will be okay, Dan", he said calmly. I smiled at him and he smiled at me, and we just sat in silence until we drifted asleep not long after.


	13. Can I Meet You?

Phil and I have been dating for three weeks now. That's a total of 5 weeks of talking. So far, I don't think my mother has suspected anything. I'm getting a call from Phil.

I answered Phil's skype call, "Hey Philly"

"Hi Sweetie, how are you?", He asked sweetly.

"I'm fine," I blushed, "how are you?"

"I'm good", he smiled, "So what are you up to?"

"Nothing really, laying in bed, like usual..", I laughed a little bit. "What are you doing?"

"Just thinking about you", he grinned, and I blushed.

"You're so cheesy", I said, rolling my eyes and blushing harder.

"I'm supposed to be cheesy", he snickered. "Um, Dan?"

"Yes?"

"When can I met you..?", he asked.

I smiled at him, "how about tomorrow?". His face lit up entirely, he seemed happy. I could tell by his beautiful, mysterious eyes and their strange and unique mixture of colors.  

"That's perfect!", he said, grinning from ear to ear.

"I can't wait!", I told him.

"Neither can I.", he said back.


	14. I'm Going Out.

Today's the day that I meet Phil in person! I'm so excited!! This is going to be amazing!!! I don't know what all we're going to do yet.

I showered, got dressed, and headed out the door. "Bye Mum, I'm going out".

"Where do you think you're going, Daniel?", mother asked sternly.

"I'm meeting up with a friend today, mum", I said calmly.

"What friend?", she sounded skeptical.

"Phil"

"I don't know if I like him...", she said.

"You've never met him...", I replied

"I don't think you need to see him.", she said.

"For God's sake mother, I'm 18. We're just going to hangout!", I defended myself, and my boyfriend.

"Fine. But I want you back at a decent time.", she demanded.

"I'll text you.", I said before walking out of the door, and heading to meet Phil.


	15. The Meeting

I left the house, and made my way to meet Phil. We were meeting at a park, not far from us. 

I made it to the park and sat down on a bench, when I got a message from Phil.

\--------CHAT OPENED--------

 **Phil:** Hey Sweetie, where are you?

 **Dan:**  Sitting on a bench

 **Phil:** What are you wearing?

 **Dan: ** Clothes

 **Phil: ** Haha, very funny, smartass 

 **Dan:** xP  <3  
 **Dan:** I'm wearing a black t-shirt

 **Phil:** I could've guessed that :P

 **Dan:** Well what are you wearing?

 **Phil:** Blue

 **Dan:** Wait, I see you, stop moving

 **Phil:** Oh okay :)

 **Dan:** I said stop moving! o.o

 **Phil:** Sorry!!

  --------CHAT CLOSED--------   

I put my phone away and walked towards Phil. I'm so nervous!

"H-hi Phil", I said quietly.

"Dan!!!", Phil hugged my tightly, picking me up and spinning a little bit. I wasn't expecting that..

We laughed and he put me down, "So what are we doing today?", I asked, although I didn't really care. I'm with Phil for the first time ever. I don't care what we do, as long as I'm with him.

"Are you hungry?", he asked.

"A little bit yeah, I haven't eaten yet.", I admitted.

"What?? Why not? It's...1 p.m.!", he sounded concerned.

"I just wasn't hungry", I said.

"Okay...", he hesitantly laid off of the subject, and we walked to go get food.

 **-time skip-**  

We've eaten our food, and we're ready to leave the restaurant. The waiter brought us our check, and I reached for it, but Phil stopped me. I looked at him confused.

"Phil, what are you doing?", I asked him.

"I'm paying", he replied.

"But Phil, I can pay!", I argued .

"I want to pay.", he counterattacked. 

"I'm not going to win this, am I", I looked at him, as he was getting out his money.

"Not this time, sorry sweetie.", he smirked at me. I just rolled my eyes.

**-time skip-**

It's now 3 p.m., we've paid for our meal,and left the restaurant. We decided to walk around a shopping center.

We were walking side by side, when Phil reached down and grabbed my hand. He intertwined our fingers, and my face heated faster than ever.

"Is this okay?", he asked me. I nodded my head, while blushing and smiling. He smiled and relaxed his hand a bit. It was like our hands were made specifically for each others, a perfect fit..

We continued walking around, not really seeing any stores that we wanted to go in to. But that was okay. I was with him, we were spending time together, and it was perfect. This is the best day of my life! I feel butterflies all in my stomach. Just being with him is making me happier than I've ever been.

"What time do you have to be back with your mum", Phil asked, we didn't want to be late or she would flip.

"I told her I'd be back after our normal dinner time, so around 7? I don't really want to see my dad, and I didn't know how long you wanted to hang out", I said.

Phil looked at me and smiled sweetly, "If I could spend forever with you I would. Every moment."

How is this man even real? He's so kind, and handsome, and funny. He's perfect..We went back to the park and sat down for a while. We talked like we normally would on skype, but a lot more nervous. We were sitting very close to each other.

"Phil," I began, "You're so..kind, and sweet, and funny..", I blushed, "And handsome...", I bit my lip saying that part. "You're perfect, Phil Lester.."

He blushed and looked me in the eyes, "If I'm a perfect person, then you must be a god. There's nothing better than you", hearing him say that made me blush harder. We starred into each others eyes, before he leaned in slowly. I began to lean in as well, turning my head slightly. Our lips connected. We were kissing, I am kissing my idol, my boyfriend. We pulled away and looked at each other, smiling with red faces.

Our lips touched.. It was nice, not just the kiss, but being that close to him in general. We laid down on the grass and he wrapped his arms around me, and I did the same. The sun was starting to go down, and I didn't have a whole lot of time left to stay, but we were going to spend every minute of it together. We looked at the stars, holding each other close, with a few surprise kisses here and there. I don't want this moment to end..


	16. Time to go "Home"

 

 

We laid on the ground cuddling for a few hours, losing track of time. When I realized how dark it was, I freaked out a little.

"Oh my god, Phil! What time is it??!", I panicked.

He sounded skittish, "Oh! It's um..it's..6:43"

"Shit..I have to go..", I said, dreading the thought of going home, and leaving Phil.

"Yeah..", he agreed, with the same tone in his voice

We got up and started on our way to my house. He held my hand until we were close. I wish that we didn't have to  be so secretive..

We made it to my door, I didn't want him to leave.. "I had a lot of fun.." I said before kissing him quickly on the cheek.

"So did I", he smiled, "We'll have to do it again soon."

"Yeah, we will", I said before hugging him. He hugged me tightly, and I didn't want to let go.If it wasn't for my parents, I wouldn't have.

He started to walk down my driveway, and I waved at him, "Be careful! Let me know when you make it home, okay?"

"I will!!", Phil waved back at me.

I walked in to my house, my mother was sitting at the table, seemingly upset. 

"Where the hell were you, Dan?", she shouted.

"I was at the park with Phil", I answered in a confused tone, I had told her before I left. 

"I told you to be back at a decent hour!", she retaliated.

"I am! It's only 7! I told you I'd be back after dinner..", I defended myself.

"That boy is a bad influence on you.." she said trying to blame Phil.

"No he isn't, mum. You don't even now him.", I glared at here.

"Why do you defend him so much?", she asked, as if she knew something.

"Because, mum, he's my friend.", he is my friend..but he's so much more than that too.. "I'm going to bed now, good night." I didn't want to be around her anymore.

"Mhm..", she growled. 

I went up to my room and laid on my bed, waiting for Phil to message me.


	17. The Window

I made my way up to my room, and laid on my bed. 

Why are people so hateful..She doesn't even know him. She doesn't know about us.. Why is the world full of people who hate other people..

There was a knock at my window..

"Phil?!", I half yelled, half whispered. He waved, and I opened the window letting him in.

"I didn't want to leave you", he smiled shyly. I was smiling so hard I was crying tears of joy. Phil wrapped his arms around me, and held me close.

"I missed you", I said hugging him tightly. He let go and put his hands on my face, and looked in my eyes, wiping away my tears.

"I missed you too." he hugged me again, and kissed my forehead.

We let go of each other after a few minutes and I locked the door, which isn't really unusual for me. "We have to be careful," I looked at Phil, "we can't risk them coming in and seeing you." He nodded in agreement. "You can sit down if you want to", I motioned at my bed.

He sat down and I sat beside him, "So this is the background of all of our video chat?", he said looking around the room with a smile.

"yeah, this is it", I laughed.

"So, what shall we do tonight?", he asked sweetly.

"Whatever you want to do.", I replied with a wink, and laughed. He looked at me with a devilish smile, and kissed my cheek. I could feel myself blushing.

"How about like earlier?~", Phil put his hand on my waist and pulled me closer to him. I blushed, and practically giggled like a school girl, which made me blush more.

I nodded in response. He pressed his lips on to mine in a quick kiss, before he pulled back and smiled. I wanted to kiss him again. 

I love the feeling of our lips touching, I love being so close to Phil.  I lifted a hand and placed it on his cheek, as his hand became more firm on my waist. I lightly bit my lip before I leaned in, and kissed him again. This kiss was more passionate and intense than the kisses before. I brought my other hand up and started to run my fingers through his hair. Phil pulled me on top of his lap, and we continued our amorous and lustful actions.

The kiss was so special, we were so close to each other. It felt so right, and with the danger of my parents and having to keep quiet, only made it better.

"P-phil", I unintentionally moaned. Sitting on top of his lap during a romantic, sloppy make out session, was bringing friction in our jeans for both of us. He laid back on my bed, and I was on top of him, kissing him. Our movements were in sync, which helped deepen the kiss. I lowered my face to his neck, biting at it lightly. I could feel him quivering below me. 

"Dan~", he moaned lightly in a husky, sensual voice. I kept kissing and biting at his neck, leaving a little mark. I brought my lips back to his, kissing him again, lighter than before. I wanted more than this, but I just met him in person.. 

His lips are so soft..

After a make out session that left us breathless, I laid down beside him. He wrapped his arms around me and I did the same to him. Phil rested his head on mine, and I nuzzled up to him. We slowly drifted asleep in each others arms.


	18. Hurry up, leave

I woke up to Phil's arms wrapped around me, holding me tight. His head resting on top of mine. I could feel his heart beating. It's beautiful. This is what makes the blood flow throughout his body, so he can be here with me today. Something so little, with so much power.

I laid there looking at the gorgeous sleeping man, laying in bed next to me. I kissed his cheek and he smiled, opening his eyes. 

"What a lovely sight to wake up to", I blushed hearing him say that.

"I agree", I said staring in to his striking blue eyes. We laid there looking at each other for hours, this was amazing.

"Daniel? Are you still sleeping?" I heard my mother yell, "It's time you get your lazy ass out of bed!"

My smile faded, and Phil noticed. 

"Dan...are you alright?", he whispered.

"I..I'm fine.. but we have to get you out of here!" I jumped out of bed. "There's so much I have to do...And we have to get you out of here now... They can't know.."

"Well what all do you have to do?", he questioned.

"I have to change clothes, and straighten my hair so it looks like I've been up.." I started.

"Well do that then, what else?", he asked again.

"Phil..", I said nervously, "I can't change in front of you..."

"I won't look", he covered his eyes. 

"...fine...", I started to change my clothes.

**-The View of Phil-**

I lied. I totally lied. Of course I'm going to look. Only a little though...

I moved my fingers a little, letting me see him. Dan was taking off his shirt followed by his pants. He frantically searched for new clothes. His body is a work of art..so beautiful..I want to see it more often. I felt my jaw drop from seeing him.

"Phil!", he screeched as quietly as he could. "You said you wouldn't look...", he blushed, and so did I.

"I know...", I stood up and walked over to him. He had found some pants and put them on, I just wanted to take them off... "but your body is so beautiful.", I wrapped my arms around him. "Just as beautiful as your mind"

"Phil.." he blushed, "I-i... I have to get ready, I'm sorry.."

"It's okay," I kissed him on the cheek, and headed towards the window, "I love you"

Dan stood there a minute as I made my way out of the window. "I-i love you too", he stuttered with his adorable red face. I went back to my house.

**-The View of Dan-**

I stood there in awe. He told me he loved me.. No ones ever said that... My face entirely red.


	19. YouTube

**-Time skip 2 months in the future.-**

Its been two months since I met Phil. Since then we've hung out a few times, we chat on skype everyday, and I've started up my YouTube channel. 

Phil has been a big help and has supported me greatly. I appreciate everything that he's done, and I enjoy spending time with them. He makes me happy, and he's really nice.  I can't believe that YouTube gave me the opportunity to meet my idol.. or that my idol could be so kind to me.

Phil is likely the best thing that's every happened to me. We're going to live together soon, we'll be able to make videos together, and see each other everyday. I'm happier than I have ever been. The smallest things can really change your life..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers, sorry about not updating in a while. I ended up getting really busy, and then I kind of lost my flow for the story. This will likely be the last chapter, although I may write a different story in the future. Thank you all for reading.


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